Look, the city of Detroit got a 10 foot tall Robocop statue. People paid for this to happen. Damn, L.A. is boring as fuck sometimes.
I had no idea we were already in the midst of the NWO so sick. This is a Bitcoin and for those not familiar with it, it’s a form of untraceable currency. I JUST read about a dude who used these to buy drugs off of some cloak and dagger ass internet site and the exchange rate is fluctuating like your heartbeat after ingestion of said, drugs.
When the bottom falls out of this, I don’t care. But what you are looking at is some shit that a dude made up and made work. out of nowhere. People are getting paid in Bitcoins.
(I’m late to the party, as always. this is funny as fuck and it shows you what true school spirit and not being a lame is all about. don’t be a cock block, boner or faggot to your sorority mates ladies, it may end bad.)
“If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you’re sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.
For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I’ve been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you’re reading this right now and saying to yourself “But oh em gee Julia, I’ve been having so much fun with my sisters this week!”, then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don’t have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself.
I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that’s not fucking possible if you’re going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON’T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That’s not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you’re mentally slow so I can make sure you don’t go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said “Yeah we’re gonna invite Zeta over”, would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn’t, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN’T be post gaming at other frats, I don’t give a FUCK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON’T GO. YOU. DON’T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other girls to leave with you.
“But Julia!”, you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, “I’ve been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn’t that count for something?” NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN’T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN’T COUNT BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT SOBER FUCKING EVENTS TOO. I’ve not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like “durr what’s kickball?” is not fucking funny), but I’ve gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don’t give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it’s time someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR FUCKING MATCHUP. I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don’t give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU.
“Ohhh Julia, I’m now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad”. Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you’re a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you:
DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT’S EVENT.
I’m not fucking kidding. Don’t go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I’ve mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you’re unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking faggots. If you are one of the people that have told me “Oh nooo boo hoo I can’t talk to boys I’m too sober”, then I pity you because I don’t know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don’t fucking show up unless you’re going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight’s event, I will tell you to leave even if you’re sober. I’m not even kidding. Try me.
And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don’t give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.”
this is a variation of a new Dwayne Wade shoe that he made for himself and his homies. you can’t buy it and you can’t buy the normal version unless you live in China. my good buddy Nick Thorburn just told me that he’s dropping the new Islands record on his own label, a label so new that it has yet to have a name. his business is sick and he has a fine reputable record in music so he already has a distribution deal in place. I recently saw Flying Lotus and Jeremiah Jae on sunset and alvarado in a drop top benzo on my way back from the post office. that just looked cool as hell. Kendrick Lamar and Justin Timberlake went platinum plus on their wild records that dropped well before April. okayplayer’s bugged out site okayfuture unveiled the Computer Jay video and knew who everyone was, in regards to cameos. apparently, a famous rap producer/rapper who used to own a famous rap label, got a pad in Hollywood Hills with another famous rapper and now they are working on a record. it seems like people are just DOING stuff now and not really tripping off of the old guard way of doing things. this is refreshing as all hell and hopefully I can write my way thru this paradigm shift…..
Thavius Beck had a son and his name is Theo. Gonjasufi is running his A1R label like a loc, the Crimekillz video is going to be on some ill shit. all this means is that a lot of ill shit is going down out west and as quick as someone prospers, someone new steps up and starts to smash. even the pop dudes are stretching their music palette out, if you don’t like it then cool but new stuff is going down right now. all sorts of folks won grammy awards this year the homie Rheteric dropped a new EP that is making some new waves and Adrian Younge has turned himself into that dude. he’s working on a record with SOULS OF MISCHIEF. holy shit.
I. HAVE. A. NEW. RECORD. OUT. ON. GET. CREV. LABS.