bloggy-bloggs: I want what you want….
it took me 15 years to fully get the hang of the blog life and not use it as some pitiful excuse for a marketing tool or some broken window into whatever state of mind I’m in at the time, most likely bad. when freestyle fellowship made the song ‘everything’s everything’, they just basically made a song expressing some common sense phrase like ‘it’s all good’ or ‘don’t start none, won’t be none’ or whatever. everything is truly everything and the other phrase ‘as above, so below’ that was coined by O.G. Thoth of that Emerald Tablet sect, describes the rest of that unaskable question….
WTF did I just say, you may ask? it goes back to my rich people abstraction, any kind of proprietary anything gets fucked up by people too stupid or just plain ignorant in the ways of utilizing it. this goes for magick, sex, sex magick, magick that helps you have sex, telethons that last a day and a half, Ras Kass’s career, the concept of money, bicycle shorts (VERY few people should ever wear them, and the ones who do should be a short list comprised of really hot girls with nice legs and curvy curves), secret societies and knowledge from antiquity, clothes, the list goes on and on…..
when blogging became a curious pastime and then a national hobby and THEN a full blown job, the main factor that kept it honest was the fact that there was NO edited content except for by the user. you could read all sorts of maniacal shit written by your dermatologist on his schnitzel fetish and it was all to the g. the proof was in the pudding. when bloggers actually threw their dynamic personality into the medium, you started to see randoms like perez hilton ball out and blog aggregators (a need arose to categorize all the blogs…) look like conde nast, there was so much “high-profile” blogging going on AND you could slang ad space! this is when shit started looking bunk. long story shorter than normal, but still long: stupid people with money got involved and paid some people while F.S.U. for everyone else and essentially boning the bottom out of the still BRAND new market until it prolapsed and flipped out on some Goatse type shit.
seeing that christmas syndrome infects everything (a unique syndrome that only comes into context when traveling to and from somewhere for x-mas time, the navigator would usually embark on x-mas eve in order to beat the rush. the world wide complacency and procrastination level rose to such a unprecedented rate that everyone started celebrating gift unwrapping on x-mas eve and switched leaving to christmas morning. this spread like the 100 monkeys syndrome and people started to do all sorts of non-analytical shit when it came to celebrating x-mas with loved ones), blogging became such a late in the game hit that even pornos bit the template style format to take their reality cam shit to the next level. now blogging is the answer to a question I never wanted to ask and I can tell you all sorts of shit about hot girls that I never needed, nor wanted to know……
check out some of these blogs I frequent because they are for the most part, unrelated to music or the recording industry, funny as fuck and not trying to ultimately sell you something or bore you to motherfucking death with their “blogs” that solely consist of a JPEG of somebody at a house party in NYC smoking a joint while some chick throws up the “blood sign” with both hands, a youtube snippet of a horrible accident OR banal tales of who they ate what with where or “their day”, like that shit actually matters to anyone else besides them and maybe their mom……
the kenny bloggins blog is wild because he has pie charts and that “eat a bowl of dicks up” picture is the funniest shit of 5PM. the homies from the music group jogger got the uhh yeah dude blog popping and locking, it has merch but it is legit and not a warehouse. they needed to do something else with their cobra-like reach and resources besides make yoga scores. sex with candy is another tight blog and the girl aileen awesome who runs it is hot and also writes for street carnage, which is the shizznitt. what up to my H.N.I.C’s Derrick and Gavin… I mentioned the fuct blog back in the post I wrote on them and that, but the blog is definitely quality viewing and easy on the eyes like a xanax in december. I’m a basketball head and I read Free Darko on regs because Bethlehem Shoals is my favorite sports writer, hands down. while I prefer Grant Morrison’s writing style and prolificness throughout the years, Warren Ellis is an AMAZING sci-fi writer that uses the comic book medium to tell his tales and expose his theories. the blog about girls letting mark-ass busters hit is as entertaining as anything I can get a laugh from at someone else’s expense. such as THIS blog that every girl should look at before they end up doing something a bit more regrettable than saying “sorry, mom…”
you KNOW I gotta give it up to the BERRICS for revolutionizing how people experience skateboarding on the web, Krooked Skateboards and their budget way of presentation because anything Mark Gonzales related gets auto-run in my life, I watch this outlandish buffoon Rob Benson from time to time because he redefines the term “rich and bored” in my mind. (BTW: WTF is “Boom Tho”?!? invent some shit that people would actually be likely to bite, bro…) Dallas Clayton has been funny as fuck for years and besides having the distinction of having the son with the coolest name on earth, the hottest and most aloof baby’s mama on earth and his name in the mouths of most smart people who do and are up on cool shit, he’s most likely smarter and cooler than literally anything you could conceive of (including yourself, sorry…) unless you live like we do, which is basically like a movie…….
fuck your couch and your blog because it is boring and uninformative. do some cool shit with yourself.
