don’t hate on haiti.

I wrote something to the effect of this last night and the homie Nasa said that I need to speak on this shit on twitter and I figured that a blog would suffice and enable me to jib more….

The IMF (International Monetary Fund) just approved another loan for Haiti that rocks out somewhere in the 100 million dollar range. What this means for a country that was ALREADY impoverished is nothing but time for some taxing. This shit is bunk as fuck. These folks (while dealing with voodoo and other wild ass shit that never leaves that island, except for in the form of Wyclef) already have a 165 million dollar debt, no real resources to export and debts accrued from being a 9th world post colonial slave pen that “got free”, only to pay their ex-slavemasters 150 million FRANCS (yup, the french strike again.) in reparations so they won’t have to get dicked down with an embargo. According to quoted figures, they were spending 85% of their country’s money on get-back. WTF?!? Ex-President Aristide tried to check the dudes and let them know that 21 billion was the magic number when it came to the big payback, but a coup d’etat always beats the house bet and he got ousted. At least he didn’t get shot in the head like most big mouthed black people who try to go hard on “the white man” on behalf of a legion of other black people.

I could write scores more, but you get the point. What smart people need to do is let motherfuckers know that Haiti (or Hati if you are ignant like me) CANNOT survive off of loans and stretched out taxes. The country was already impoverished as it was, this natural disaster just magnified things. Instead of throwing money at Haiti to absolve guilt, talk to all these rich dudes and get them to talk to the POWERS that be and tell them to stall out Haiti’s forced loan. So that they may live like humans for the 2nd time in their history. The first time was in 1804, when they were “freed” from slavery…..

why rap is the shit and back in full force, fuck nas.

that dude had it twisted up. rap is in back in motherfucking vogue right now. if comme des garcons didn’t prove to you that street is the new chic 2 years ago, then you must be smoking PCP with ugly clothes on. I’m 31 and this means that I’m too old for lime green shirts and shoes that mimic cans of soda and skittles. I don’t want to hear songs about gold, pagers and BMXs since I ride one speed bikes, skateboard and have a pocket PC. I’m old enough to remember when fairfax just had the kibbutz room on tuesdays and no one knew who exactly owned Rawkus Records. what about me? I don’t give a fuck about soulja boy on the radio however many times or gucci mane on the radio however many more times because you have jay electronica and puffy on stage for whatever reason along with lil’ wayne rapping over a milli and beyonce answering back with diva and shit like that. what do I REALLY care about wack shit when so much dope shit is coming out on regs again? the only problem is getting everyone to acknowledge and listen to it together so it can get steam and beat out all this “wack” shit out there. there are enough messages being spread, enough money exchanging hands and enough avenues like this very blog that are out there exposing people to whatever they feel the need to be exposed to.

my favorite videos 001a

(I’ll be bringing my favorite video post column from the briefcaserockers.com blog and I’ll retrofit the reviews a bit. on the briefcase blog, I would usually post the most savage and outlandish videos in order to get people to respond. here, I can just concentrate on one video and write a long review or whatever it is…)

I first saw this video in 95 or 96 on MTV in the middle of the night. I had just got back from taking mushrooms for the first time with my friend Charles and I was on cloud 100. the mushrooms were pretty good, so I was having what some would classify as a “bad trip.” I saw this video during a lucid point in the adventure and it was motherfucking mind boggling. it made an indelible mark on my head and I knew that it was a great record (even though I didn’t get it until way later, after I figured out who it was) although I couldn’t tell you anything else.

this was another video I saw during my late night excursions on 120 minutes and beyond. I was just getting into drinking hard liquor and smoking weed alone, along with college radio and teen angst. I even lived in a suburban wasteland (Camarillo, California) and everything. I ran into this video, fell in love with Mary Timony and went and bought everything that said Helium on it. the Pirate Prude EP was their first banger and the song ‘This Old House’ off of the Rock Stars Kill comp is one of my all time favorites.

honorable mention goes to Fiona Apple’s video that looked like a porno, The Deftones in ‘My Fun Summer’ and the amazingly slept on Lutefisk (slept on to the point of being omitted from the annals of Silver Lake 90’s rock history. they were even on Bong Load Custom/DGC and you cannot find mention of them in any convenient place. like the internet..) with their crev classic ‘Scorch and Peel.’

high school was the shit.

Agent Zero is my hero for the zero one zero

Dear Mr. Arenas.

While I think you are an impulsive savant who acts strictly in the present due to having a bad past and a lottery ticket for a future, you got the raw deal out of this whole thizzle. Yeah, you were a fucking goober for bringing not one, two or three, but FOUR (according to the press, who is my oracle on this one) guns to your “workplace” in the efforts to keep them away from your kids. We all know you stack major rochefort and gouda, so you could have basically bought a pad (or at least a used car and a monthly parking space) to keep your motherfucking armory in, versus using your locker as an ammo dump. We also know that even though Mr. Critterton (more on him in a sec) went out like a big old bitch and threw the strap across the locker room, just before brandishing his own and turning the locker room into the set for Face-Off, he only went out like that because you said that you would just as soon burn up his car or shoot him in the face as fight him because you “were too old for that” or whatev’s crev. I’m in awe and shocked. Money=gone, endorsements=gone, pending jail time, you are basically J.R. Rider at this point and since there isn’t a “Jailblazers” team to sign you after you get out of the pinta, I hope you seriously stacked at least 10 milli to float you in cambodia, once this shit is a wrap. You also had the misfortune of playing for a owner that was against violence in the most violent city in north america, along with a commissioner that is tap dancing on the dick of that owner and his family, who is heir to his estate.

I’m being a dick, but I’m going to miss you Gilly. you showed me that ANYONE can step their game up whenever they want and rise to any occasion in the right situation. You did that in the games that counted and you did that by pleading guilty for some dumb shit that could potentially ruin your career. You are a real man, even if you are crazy like an electrified kite tied to a dead goat in the desert.

sincerely yours

Giovanni Marks.

P.S. from what I understand, you may get a chance to get reinstated. now you have real street cred like Captain Jack and R-Test…

I have never gotten a boner off of watching an exercise video in my adult life, until now.

this shit just jumped on to my screen to my surprise. lordy. ladies, do what you do and be happy being you. however, keep in mind that dudes like the best versions of ALL TYPES of ladies just like ladies like the best versions of ALL TYPES of dudes. tall, small, whatevs. if you really think that you NEED to work out, then maybe you should save your money and give this a try. if you have a man, he will probably be juiced off of watching you DO these exercises. I don’t even care about old girl on the video, she is just a vehicle for a point. I know many fine ladies with “amazing celebrity butts” that are not only very un-celebrity like, but they don’t even need to do these exercises! they just exist like the heavenly father and his infernal majesty intend for them to.

and to add more fuel to the fire, here’s some shit I found on street/carnage today:

while the men’s ideal is banging and the women’s ideal is something you see in a book or a nice adult film, the average is what most dudes end up masturbating to at age 13-16 because this is how most hot girls look. most dudes I know that like girls usually trip off of a curvy girl because that subliminally reminds them of their first crush, which is usually when they first notice girls and the effects that puberty had on a large range of them. some girls are late bloomers and you’d have to own a crystal ball to figure out that they would be on some KING magazine shit 10 years later. my favorite springs and summers were spent looking at ladies who couldn’t QUITE fit into their clothes on a hot day, this shit drove me crazy in Montreal. Every lady there with that kind of figure is wearing a bandana and bicycle shorts. shit is bonkers…..

reason number 645 why Crunc Tesla is a wild, wild dude.

this guy is too talented and it bleeds thru his pores. he has a mysterious company called luv technologies, is a space hustler and makes his money in ways and mathematics I cannot conceptualize. we did a couple of songs together and I’m waiting on the artwork to come back so I can drop this EP of his that I have been sitting on because the shit is fire, indeed. he produced a track for my record Terrain To Roam entitled A Surrealist Life and he also did the video on the way to the La Guardia airport. while riding a little skateboard thru the streets of brooklyn on a friday night, in the hood. he brought his homegirl along who was from russia and he had her play a little chick I meet in the street for some mysterious reason. it went down and he made it happen. I was looking thru my bookmarks and came across an obscure search engine that showed really random entries under giovanni marks, one of them being this website that had posted the video. keep in mind that Crunc Tesla’s director alias is War Hologram and read the page.

the funniest thing that I have seen in 1 hour.

uh, watch this. it’s self explanatory once you press play, just like anything else….

skateboarding is the best, thanks partly to these dudes…

I love skateboarding and it saved my life more times than it endangered it. I have the dude on the left to thank for my rap career, his song in Plan-B’s Questionable made me WANT to rap back in 91! these dudes BTW, are Mike Carroll and Rick Howard and together with Megan Baltimore and Spike Jonze, they started the Girl Skateboard co. in 1993.

They both skated for the best teams of the day (H-Street and Blockhead) and they were both responsible for different things on and off a skateboard. after kinging the deck game with their homies at the sister brand Chocolate (originally slated to be called Sister), they partnered up with Podium Distribution (DVS Shoes) and made another brand called Lakai. After a while, their homies followed suit and while Eric Koston did up the 4-Star Brand, Rudy Johnson and Guy Mariano did the Royal Trucks thing and all of a sudden they had enough companies for an umbrella. “Congrats, you have a baby boy and it’s named Crailtap!”

Add and subtract various riders for various reasons and run the clock up a few years and you have today. The dudes are balling, skating and doing what they want to do, 17 years later. Go cop that hello kitty board, I want one……

BONUS ROUND:

here is some OG footy of Jovontae Turner and Trent Gaines boxing in the front yard. at first it was Jovontae and Rick Ibaseta, but then Trent jumped in. Judging by the grade of the quality of the thing-thing, the vid must have been filmed around 91, when Jovontae and Trent were on Planet Earth and Rick was on New Deal? is that right?!?

we now bring you a La Cita Strobe PSA for SUBTITLE courtesy of B.E.A.R. and Bandcamp

based on all the madness, ying-yang, mochipet running that group song today and the next violin playing blog that is in my queue (and may not get printed), I said fuck it and decided to jump in the frigid waters of lake bandcamp and join my peers in this new marketing frontier. some of us have teams full of people and sympathizers that rally our every movement and some of us just have bomb ass music and years of experience to forward our agendas, while others have other stuff. I took my own advice from a few blogs ago and tried to make it worth your money, all the while not asking for much of it…

thanks bandcamp for making it easier to show our sides and I hope you guys like it and give feedback. liking it is one step closer to buying it. Trunk Bomb up next for testing……

(click here to go to the link of ill repute….)